by
lawsonjeff
@ 2006-08-12 - 06:16:17
Colin Farrell swept a young fan off her feet so quickly that they met at breakfast-time and made love three times before lunch.
The handsome actor's encounter with Woody Allen's French au pair Angelique Jerome came only hours before he waved to excited fans at the London premiere of the blockbuster movie.
But though Irish-born Colin was Angelique's movie idol before their lust-fuelled encounter, his performance left her less than impressed when all three bouts of hurried sex added up to only 10 minutes.
Angelique 24 - who looked after movie legend Woody's children for two years - said: "He has a great body and a charm that any woman would kill for. But he's all talk. Between the sheets, he is a let-down with only half a baguette in his lunchbox, if you know what I mean.
"He kept saying 'C'est bon (it's good), you're beautiful, c'est bon'. He sounded like James Blunt.
"Once he'd got what he fancied - in about 10 seconds flat - he just wanted to go to sleep."
Colin, 30, met Angelique 10 days ago on the set of Woody's new movie, now being filmed in London with Farrell and Ewan McGregor. In April she had quit as Woody's livein New York nanny to be a model in France, but the director is still a friend, so he let her on set early that morning to see her idol Colin.
She said: "He caught my eye straight away. He turned to me, stared deep into my eyes and whispered 'hi' with a wide smile. My knees turned to jelly and I knew immediately there was chemistry between us.
"He is clearly a man who knows what he wants. When he looks at you in that special way, no red-blooded woman could resist. I kept catching him looking at me and smiling.
WHEN he was shooting a scene with Ewan McGregor, I could tell they were talking about me between takes. They were giggling like schoolboys so I knew they were saying nice things."
During a break, Angelique asked to have her picture taken with Colin. She said: "He agreed like a shot, moving so close I could feel his breath on my neck and holding me tightly.
His touch made my skin tingle. "He asked me my name and when I told him he nuzzled my ear and said: 'Angelique, that's beautiful'. If it hadn't been Colin Farrell speaking, it might have sounded corny. But as it was, I couldn't believe my luck.
"I gave him my number and just 15 minutes later he sent me a text saying, 'What are you doing over the next couple of hours? I'm just gonna go back to the hotel and take it easy... wanna come by in a bit, we can play?' "I was so nervous when I knocked on the door of his suite at the Savoy Hotel. But he put me at ease, standing there in the doorway wearing loose-fitting pyjama bottoms and nothing else.
"He was covered in tattoos, which I love. He had one red heart on his left arm and a tribal design on his right. He smiled, hugged me, took my hand, walked me into the bedroom and asked me about myself, where I was from, and how old I was. He was funny and charming. But I could tell, just by looking at him, that he didn't want to chat. He was obviously excited. Pyjama bottoms don't leave much to the imagination.
"Moments later he kissed me hard on the mouth, grabbed me and threw me on to the bed. He tore at my clothes and kept saying how beautiful I was. When I was naked, he ran his eyes up and down my body, gasping with pleasure." The couple made love on the bed, against the bathroom wall and in the shower.
Angelique said: "He was enthusiastic and athletic. He was so keen to have me, he didn't want to wear any protection. He just said, 'It'll be OK, it'll be OK'. But for all his ardour, it was like he was reading from a text book, lurching from one position to another. He loved it when I climbed on top. He was cooing, 'C'est bon, c'est bon'. It's clearly the only French he knows.
"We made love three times but the actual sex only lasted 10 minutes in total. At one point he lifted me up and carried me to one side of the bed so we were both looking in his full-ength mirror. He said, 'Look how beautiful you are'.
"To be fair, he did try and give me pleasure, kissing me all down my body - but his heart wasn't really in it. I kept having to fake orgasms - one, two, three - to keep him happy and let him keep his dignity. It seemed the polite thing to do."
Despite Colin's bad-boy reputation - the Dublin-born actor once told Playboy magazine: "I've always been a firm believer that casual sex is a good thing" - Angelique says he seemed nervous, clumsy and unsure.
"He must have told me I was beautiful eight times, or more. And he was always looking me in the eye. I found that rather off-putting, as if I were some kind of school project. It was too clinical. He didn't at all come across as a sex god who had slept with countless woman. If I didn't know better, I could almost have thought it was his first time.
"Then he kissed me again and made it clear that it was time for me to leave. I asked if I had time to shower - I knew he had the premiere of Miami Vice that night and when I came out he was already talking on the phone. So I got dressed and stood by the door. I thought he might offer to pay for my taxi, but didn't. At least he promised he'd text me."
Angelique left the Savoy at 12.15pm - barely an hour and a quarter after arriving and just three hours after she and Colin had met.
When she checked her phone later that day she found a text message saying: "Hello Angelique, please call. I have tickets for tonight."
She went to the premiere but stayed in the background. "After the movie we went to a party at the Sanderson Hotel. He was in the VIP room talking to the crew. I came close to show him I was there. He winked at me, but he was talking and I didn't dare interrupt.
AT midnight I went back and he was sat next to the actress Gong Li. She was massaging his back and flirting with him.
She's lovely looking but she's 40 - nearly twice my age. I didn't see her as a threat.
"I spoke to Colin's assistant and asked how long it was before I could see Colin. He told me to wait until 2am, but I was tired and Gong was all over him so I left in a huff.
"I heard he had spent the night with Gong I was upset. I thought our time together had meant something. It certainly wasn't just the sex for me. Anything but."